blackUnicorn.org

Changing things around has given me a chance to reflect. When I re-did my blog template last month, it was because I was bored with the design, but it was also because I knew it would help me re-focus and re-evaluate what I want to be doing here. I thought a lot about what I’m doing with the blog, my career as an artist, and in my life in general, and started listing things. I do this sometimes- just make some critical impressions about a particular subject. I ask questions, and answer them, to work through a complicated problem or issue. Here it is:

• I want this blog to be useful and interesting
• if not to other people, I at least want it to be useful and interesting to me.
• Useful means there needs to be something a reader (or writer!) can walk away and do something with
• interesting means I should talk about myself less and…stuff? more
• What’s “stuff” and why is talking about myself not interesting to other readers?
• Easy one first: I’m not a celebrity, so my day-to-day minutiae is not interesting
• I’m not learning anything, so I have nothing useful to share. Therefore, boring.
• Therefore also, “Stuff” is learning and teaching
• Which I need to be doing in order to write about it.
• What do I want to learn and what can I teach?
• I want to learn- and teach- more about my craft.
• Which means I need to practice it more, actively seek out things to learn, and share them here.
• Here’s a big one: Why aren’t I practicing my craft more????
• I don’t think this is just about art.
• Learning to let go of anxiety and stress, and just work, and be joyous in that work, is what I want to be doing.
• Being fearless is huge. Because to make it work and not a hobby, it has to go out into the world and do something (earn me a living as well?).  I need to send it there.
• So I want to become that person. I’m not there yet.
• Maybe nobody’s ever “there.” Like how you always expect you’ll “grow up” and you never do
• So if I never arrive then I can only ever talk about becoming.

So, “becoming a working artist.” Developing as an artist, professional and better person. An exercise in character building. Not being so damn grumpy and dissatisfied all the time, because there are always new, interesting, and exciting things to learn and do. That’s what this blog is about.